Brings back memories of when my wife walked in on an argument between our son and I. When he ran out of the room crying, I turned to the wife and said, "I wish I'd used a condom now." Obviously she was horrified and said, "What? You wish our son had never been born?" "No," I replied. "I've got his girlfriend pregnant." Buy, buy, buy I say. Heat.
MalikT
28 Dec 158#27
For the ppls who missed it last time ...
I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
"Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.
I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.
:stuck_out_tongue: thought I share the joke.
pennyfarthing88
28 Dec 158#8
Mixed reviews on Amazon from 'too tight' too 'split easily' one gives them 5 stars though as 'came early' :laughing:
Brings back memories of when my wife walked in on an argument between our son and I. When he ran out of the room crying, I turned to the wife and said, "I wish I'd used a condom now." Obviously she was horrified and said, "What? You wish our son had never been born?" "No," I replied. "I've got his girlfriend pregnant." Buy, buy, buy I say. Heat.
Zander_19 to jumbosausage
28 Dec 15#13
Hilarious.
Foxy
28 Dec 15#11
How do these work in the "condom over face and blow up with nose trick"!?
Have they passed the which? reliability tests!?
stealth666 to Foxy
28 Dec 15#14
Taped on car exhaust is a good un...
looneychoonz74
28 Dec 15#15
Well that's enough posh w*nks to make your arm ache!
ELVIS_THE_PELVIS to looneychoonz74
28 Dec 151#19
Speak for yourself.......
Si__
28 Dec 151#17
Zander_19
28 Dec 152#18
Facials are all the rage now and expensive to boot. Save a quid or too and blow it elsewhere.
looneychoonz74
28 Dec 151#20
I love a good jostle :smiley:
HARRIA01
28 Dec 15#21
Last me a few years lol
ELVIS_THE_PELVIS
28 Dec 151#22
Feel free to swop hands
Kevo2k7
28 Dec 152#23
I try to wear a condom at every conceivable occasion.
Zander_19 to Kevo2k7
28 Dec 151#26
Christenings, funerals and the mother in laws hysterectomy?
ELVIS_THE_PELVIS
28 Dec 151#24
One up the b u m no harm done...........
MalikT
28 Dec 158#27
For the ppls who missed it last time ...
I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
"Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.
I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.
:stuck_out_tongue: thought I share the joke.
qweff
28 Dec 15#28
one on each toe to keep em warm i say
m99rsr
28 Dec 15#29
You can go to the doctors and get condoms for free
Opening post
Top comments
I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
"Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.
I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.
:stuck_out_tongue: thought I share the joke.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Exure-Natural-Lubricated-Unscented-Condoms-y/dp/B00A3WRODQ
All comments (33)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Exure-Natural-Lubricated-Unscented-Condoms-y/dp/B00A3WRODQ
Have they passed the which? reliability tests!?
I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
"Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.
I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.
:stuck_out_tongue: thought I share the joke.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blob-Kevin-Diljon/dp/B0015NN4UO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1451346716&sr=8-1&keywords=the+blob