I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.

I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

"Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.

I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.

:stuck_out_tongue: thought I share the joke.

What do you do? smear it on your eyes so you can't see your wifes mug?

No put it on the door handle so she can't escape

Sure.

Make sure the driver reverses it in gently though :smirk:

Volcanic Lava?? So the earth did move for you :wink:

I got a free sample of something similar in a pack of condoms, it was called Tingle. I can assure you there was no tingle !!! It was like volcano lava. Had to dash to the shower to extinguish the flames. Needless to say nothing happened that evening as i smouldered in a very different way !

I always read the condom etc ones as I know I will get a good laugh from the comments haha

Maybe it was blocked up lol

This stuff can burn a little, what's wrong with a good old fashioned bit of spit and polish

Bargain this stuff retails for £15 on Lovehoney, not highly rated though

Heat added :laughing: for the comments

OMG, hot just for the comments

That stuff is like putting vapour rub on your bits !!!!!!

​omg brilliant! Bloody loved it :smile:

This is a bargain price...

A lifetime supply!!! Thanks OP!

All from the size of your thumb.

HUKD

I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.

I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

"Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.

I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.

:stuck_out_tongue: thought I share the joke.

Tee hee, sex. Tee hee, orgasm. Snigger.

What do you do? smear it on your eyes so you can't see your wifes mug?

Maybe she smears it on hers!

Great for stopping the squeak on your dyke
I mean Bike :confused:

Is this better than shockwaves styling wax or loreal styling mousse???

Can I use this on a bus ?

No put it on the door handle so she can't escape

Haha awaiting the comments lol